Poems are free

To write silly poems
Is entirely free,
So I use silly poems
To pay for my tea.  

A poem about a ferret
In a fighter jet
Got me a sandwich
And a coffee from Pret.  

A poem about an earwig
In snakeskin boots
Bought me several
Expensive suits.  

A poem about a chipmunk
In a diamond mine
Entirely paid off
My parking fine.  

Or at least,
That’s what I thought,
As I’ve just received a letter—
A summons to court.  

Although my intentions
Were very well-meaning,
The suit shop and Pret
Think I’ve been stealing.  

And my poem about a tribe
Of half robot geese
Was not accepted as a bribe
By the police.  

My poem about a
Blackbird who learned to make fudge
Is not admissible as evidence,
Says the judge.  

My poem about a pelican
Who entered Crufts
Was of no interest to the guard
Who put me in cuffs.  

But my poem about a baker
Who is also a whale
Is going down a treat
with the fellas in jail.