Barneby the Ballroom Badger
and his dislike for disco
Hello everyone! i’ve recorded audio for this one so give it a listen if you would rather, as i have always felt that my poems were meant to be performed.
Barneby the Ballroom Badger
Is only seen at night,
All champagne and earthworms,
Wearing black and white.
Barneby the Ballroom Badger
Is a relic of the past.
he dislikes disco dance moves;
He thinks they are too fast.
He likes ballroom dancing,
He loves the suits and gowns.
When he sees a disco,
He yells, "Slow down! Slow down!"
He does not like how fast they dance,
It’s a danger to their health.
He doesn't like the lack of dance partners,
How they all dance by themself.
He thinks this "disco-mania"
Is getting out of hand.
He’s been writing to the council
About how he thinks it should be banned.
These constant thoughts of disco
Disrupt his ballroom flow.
For the first time in decades,
He stepped on his partner’s toe.
He apologized profusely,
Tried to focus on the song,
But his partner, (Princess Penelope Porcupine)
could tell something was wrong.
Although she was very intelligent,
He could never tell Penelope,
And creep her out, yelling about how
Ballroom fell in relevancy,
And how the disrespect of ballroom
Is a national cultural sin.
He kept his feelings bottled up
And stuffed them down within.
He couldn't stand that ballroom was dying.
he thought How else could it be
That a badger like me
Could ever dance with Princess Penelope?
But he could not hide his feelings;
They came out when he danced.
Now there was a haka
Where once there was a prance.
And when he was waltzing with Penelope,
Veins were popping in his face.
He lost his timing and place;
He waltzed without grace.
His thoughts were consumed with disco
And how he thought it was a farce,
Week after week after week after week,
Until Penelope missed class.
And she wasn't there the next week,
And she missed the next week too.
Without his dancing partner,
He did not know what to do.
three more weeks without her,
But every lesson, he would check,
Until one night, when walking home,
He saw her, at the Discothèque.
His heart broke for a moment
To see her throwing shapes,
A million little pieces,
Immune to glue or tape.
The ballroom didn't help the pain,
And champagne was no good either.
In disco disguise, he went to Blockbuster;
He rented Saturday Night Fever.
He learned the words to ABBA
And to Earth, Wind & Fire.
It was not just ballroom dancing,
But her that he desired.
Till he turned up at the disco,
Knowing she'd be there.
With an open mind, he was prepared,
From his head down to his flares.
He let all his feelings out
Under that mirrored ball.
He closed his eyes, imagining
The familiar ballroom hall.
He didn't ask where the moves came from,
Ignored their origin or cause,
But when his eyes opened again,
They opened to applause.
Barneby was puffing and panting;
Penelope jumped into his arms.
All the other creatures cheered,
From the woodlands to the farms.
Now Barneby the Disco Badger
Is the talk of the whole town.
Be it disco or ballroom,
This badger could throw down.
💃 🕺🏿